25th Oct 2003
Meleg Szendvics
I’m so damn clever. I was out Friday night with a group of — brace yourself — Hungarians. I think I was the only non-Hungarian in the group, aside from someone’s Afghan fiance. One of the guys in the group is gay and, needless to say, very handsome. At some point in the evening, an American girl came up to him and was shamelessly flirting with him for a long time. Oddly he played along for quite a while.
(To interrupt myself for a moment, how of often does that happen to the rest of you straight guys? As for myself, I don’t know that a good looking woman (and that might be generous in this case, but she wasn’t a hound, anyway) has ever come up to me and initiated the come on. It always seems like it was the other way around. But if you’re gay… Oh, the irony of the gods.)
Later outside, we were eager to hear of how things played out with her. Apparently, he finally broke the news her that he doesn’t go for the ladies, to which she inquired, “Are you bi at least? Because my friend over there, he’s bi, and so maybe the three of us could…”
At which point in the retelling I interjected, “Oh, a sandwich. A meleg szendvics.”
If you are Hungarian, by now you would agree that I am terribly damn clever. For the rest of you, explaining the joke will ruin it, but I’m so pleased with myself about it, I can’t resist. In case it’s not obvious, “szendvics” is “sandwich,” Hungarians just spell it funny. And “meleg” means “warm,” and Hungarians are partial to eating their sandwiches that way (think tuna melt, but with ham instead of tuna). But — and here’s the really damn clever part — meleg is also slang for gay.
Quite the double entendre for a guy who really doesn’t speak Hungarian particularly well.
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