Mark points this out. From MIT to a bar near you.

Congratulations to my old college roommate John Webb for launching his new blog Spindrift, focusing on his passion for sailing and other important matters in life. I'd like to consider this a Bruner Blog child, as I was the one who first introduced John to Blogger last summer or so in the context of our college reunion site MTRastas.com. Then, of course, his name is Webb and he's been a web developer for several years, appropriately enough, so it was only a matter of time.

This is so wrong and juvinile, and God help me if any clients see this, but I was bored. Language learners take note:

Bearded clam, Cooter, The "C" word, Hair pie, Hole, Hootch, Kootchie (pot), Love grotto, Merkin, Money maker, Muff, Padina, Pink, Poontang, Pudenda, Puffy, Pussy, Quiff, Quim, Slit, Snatch, Snizz, Squeezebox, Taco, Trim, Tuna, Twat, Wasp's nest, Winkie.

Step-brohiem adds: Honey Pot, Thicket, Trent Lott (He's a Twat), Good Listener, Fish, The Lingua Franca Of Barnard College, Gabby Hayes, Gorilla Salad, Mudflaps, Whiskey Down, Poppin Fresh, Conflict Mediator, Dumb Things I Gotta Do.

The obvious counterpart may soon follow, depending on how much hate mail I get from this one. This would be an example of the downside of self-publishing.

UPDATE:
Mark adds: Cake, Box, Fanny (UK), Beaver, Oven, Lady Jane, Ginie and Mouse.

Diana adds, with giddy chagrin, two more from her childhood: Dink and Private Pot.

June 11. All I really want is swag from WhiteHouse.org.

Matt Welch notes that, contrary to popular belief, Hungarians are not the world's best suicide makers, although they're in the top 10.

Tom Browkaw made a booboo. (via Gawker)

I love how weird reality is. Letterman said their excuse was that they were drunk. I can't wait to fly Hooters Air.

The Onion reports: "Fox executives Monday unveiled their latest reality-TV venture, Appointed By America, a new series in which contestants vie for the top spot in Iraq's post-war government."

It's now been over a month since Baghdad blogger Salam Pax last posted, since the bombing of the city intensified and the international media outed him. Anyone have the latest rumor on his well-being?

From the press release:

Setting an example as an environmentally friendly workplace to mark Earth Day 2003, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) announced today that it will switch to non-polluting wind power for its offices in lower Manhattan.

Cool. Apparently, it's legal for women to go topless in NY. Let's hope this is the start of a new trend.

I already pointed this out a few weeks ago, when it was first doing the rounds via email, but I just got a new, improved version, so I figured I'd repost it (the new pay-off at the end is worth it):

You know the world is going crazy when
the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy
the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese
the Swiss hold the America's Cup
France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance
Germany doesn't want to go to war,
and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick, and 'Colon.'

I realize I'm not exactly a top source of generating hipster or ghetto youth slang in our language, but none the less, I'd like to humbly propose "3-1-1" entering the vernacular as petty complaining or non-essential issues.

This slang would be only natural. A decade or more ago, cool people brought us "4-1-1" as slang for "the skinny," "the low down" or "the info." (The explanation, for you foreigners and slow-witted Americans, is dialing 4-1-1 on the phone gets you directory information.) In his superbly funky song from last year Business, Eminem pronounces "Hip hop is in a state of 9-1-1." (Nine-one-one, the emergency number, of course, takes on even stranger new connotations as slang in this post-9/11 world.)

Now, New York City recently introduced a new directory service at 3-1-1, which the city's web site describes as "Citizen Services Center: The Public now has one easy to remember number to access New York City's non-emergency Government Services." Basically, it's where you call to complain about things like pot-holes.

NY was not the first city to do this; it is simply one of the latest to addopt it based on the provisions for use of 3-1-1 as a non-emergency local government services number set forth by the Federal Communications Commission in 1996.

Slang examples:

• "All she ever goes on about is 3-1-1."
• "I'm in the middle of a deadline meltdown, and want me to drop everything for your 3-1-1?!"
• "Here comes Mr. Concerned Neighbor."

Via Mark

Mark also points out the Information Minister is renting out his service broadly for PR purposes at TheInformationMinister.com.

And, in case you haven't already seen it, there is also the original parody site, WeLoveTheIraqiInformationMinister.com.

That's what I just heard out my window as a cop car rushing somewhere apparently rear-ended another car at 125th & Broadway. Whoops. The EMT just showed up. From what I can see with my handy binoculars, the driver and passenger in the car that was hit appear relatively okay, as they're sitting upright and not bleeding, as far as I can see, but they probably smell a good whiplash lawsuit.

Fascinating Washington Post piece on MSNBC.

Aside from the obvious tradegy of the loss of innocent life in this war, the news of the looting and ransacking of Baghdad's National Museum of Antiquities, along with hospitals, is perhaps the most dispiriting turn of this whole sorry affair.

For weeks before the bombing started, pundits were correctly saying that the hardest part would not be winning the war but winning the peace. For Rumsfeld et al to now claim that, on the one hand, their battle plan was not too light on troops for a military victory (as was the media's obsession two weeks ago, when supply lines seemed too thinly distributed in the face of guerrilla attacks), yet then, on the other hand, claim that they don't have enough troops to spare for providing humanitarian relief or maintaining civic order is clearly an admission of failure for what is really the most critical mission of the whole war: peace and democracy. One lesson U.S. military historians should certainly draw from this campaign is that in the future our modern army must do at least as efficient of a job embedding the means for immediate humanitarian relief and civic policing directly into their military forces as they have done with the Reality PR team of the embedded world press corp. To simply shrug and complain, "Hey, that's not what the military is trained to do; it's not our job" is beyond a cop-out. It's truly bordering on criminal negligence.

The loss of innocent life in this war is clearly its gravest toll, but we all knew that was inevitable when it began, despite which I publicly stated my support for the war before it started. And to the coalition's credit, they do appear to have done a remarkable job keeping the number of civilian casualties to historic lows, as wars go (aside from all outward appearances that they targeted some journalists along the way). That they allowed the looting of hospitals is grotesque, and doubtless it will add to the deaths of non-combatants. In the end, however, the hospitals can be re-supplied, presumably in short order, so the consequences of that disgrace may not be so long remembered.

But the National Museum of Antiquities... The pain of that neglect on the part of the American troops may well be remembered in history on par with the burning of the Library of Alexandria. One might try to argue these were "just things," and that people should not get so worked up about it. But it was 5,000 years of human history, something that never can be replaced. And defending it would have been so simple. A few soldiers on guard. The army couldn't spare five men? Or cynically, did they just not care? "Let the Iraqis show themselves for the barbarians they are" or something like that? I fear in the end we may lose a kingdom for want of a nail.

I can't help thinking of Harry Hill Bandholtz, a U.S. general of minor hero status in Hungary, who, in 1919, saved the Hungarian National Museum from looters with a simple mail-censor stamp. He is remembered today with a statue that stands in front of the U.S. embassy in Budapest (pictured here).

The site Kantor's Budapest tells the story, excerpted here:

Upon the general collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy in 1918, and 133 days of power of Bela Kun's communist regime in 1919, foreign armies advanced into the territory of the defeated Kingdom of Hungary, and this culminated in the occupation of Budapest by the Romanian army.

Budapest then become the temporary home of many foreign military officers who were sent here to supervise the foreign occupation. Alongside with his three co-commanders from Italy, France and Great Britain, General Bandholtz of the United States Army arrived in Budapest on August 11, 1919.

In his job of supervising the Romanian occupation, General Bandholtz soon become disgusted by the large scale stealing (requisition, they called it) being carried out by the Romanians...

Enough was enough for General Bandholtz when he received a report on October 5, after dinner, that the Romanians were at the National Museum with a whole flock of trucks and proposed to take away many of the works of art. General Bandholtz, with two of his American colleagues, rushed to the museum, which they found under strong Romanian guard. The Romanians told them they were authorized by their High Command to take away all works of art that originate from Eastern Hungary, especially Transylvania, now under their control.

General Bandholtz, after a short conversation with the director of the Museum, decided to claim the keys to the storerooms and seal the door. A note was placed on the door, stating:

"To whom it may concern - As the Inter-Allied Mission in charge of all the objects in the Hungarian National Museum at Budapest, the key has been taken charge of by the President of the Day, General Bandholtz, the American representative."

"As the Roumanians and all Europeans are fond of rubber-stamp display", wrote Bandholtz in his diary, "and as we had nothing else, we used an American mail-censor stamp, with which we marked the seals."

This is how General Bandholtz, armed only with a riding crop, prevented the Romanian army from removing the treasures of the National Museum and deserved his statue, erected in 1936 in front of the American embassy on Szabadsag ter ["Freedom Square"]. On the statue, you can still read what he said when later asked about the events of October 5:

"I simply carried out the instructions of my Government, as I understood them, as an officer and a gentleman of the United States Army."

Indeed. Too bad they don't make more like like him today.

Interesting piece that Jeff Jarvis points out from the BBC on how to interpret the various gestures Iraqis have been making in response to their liberation. My favorite excerpt:

Much has already been made of the thumbs-up gesture that British and American soldiers have received from "welcoming" Iraqis. Unlike in many western cultures, in the Middle East the thumbs-up can be an insult, roughly translating as "up yours". But the US Army's Defense Language Institute says that after the first Gulf War, the gesture was adopted by some Iraqis, along with the ok sign, as a "symbol of co-operation and freedom".

Reminds me of the joke of the cowboy who rides up to an Indian standing arms folded. Then the Indian silently raises one fist and give the India the middle finger and then turns his hand sideways. The cowboy says "What was the second one for?" The Indian gives him the finger again and says, "This was for you." Turning his finger sideways, he adds, "This one was for your horse."

I'm pleased to have something newsworthy to note other than Iraq news: Hungarians today voted overwhelmingly (upwards of 80% according incomplete tallies) in favor of joining the European Union in a national referendum. The EU has already invited Hungary, among nine other nations, to join the EU as of May 2004. I lived in Hungary from 1990 to 1995, and back then, joining the EU seemed like a distant dream at best for most Magyars. I'm really pleased to see that country I love so well demonstrating, along with several of its neighbors, how far a society can come from an issolated dictatorship to a prospering democracy, ready to embrace an international alliance based on openness and cooperation rather than hollow ideology and mistrust.

I've been loving the NYT's photo slide shows on the war. They have a very satisfying one called "Saddam's Images Take a Beating." This is my favorite shot.

Al Jazeera reports:

Residents threw flowers at the armoured column as it swept past, just three kilometres east of the central Jumhuriyya Bridge over the Tigris river. Joy at the apparent removal of Saddam Hussein was tangible, with one man beating a canvas portrait of him with his slipper.

Crowds threw flowers at the Marines as they drove past the Martyrs' Monument, just three km (two miles) east of the central Jumhuriya Bridge over the Tigris river.

I'm interested to see the English version of the Al-Jazeera web site is live online for the first time. As I reported earlier, when they first tried to go online, the site was hacked and and then was simply offline for several days, until yesterday (or at least that was the first I saw it). Meanwhile, Al-Jazeera gets itself kicked out of both the NYSE (see above link) and Iraq in the same week. Sounds to me like they're doing something right. (Don't forget, an axiom of journalistic motives if to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.)

I've only read a handful of stories so far, but I have to say, my first impression is that I'm surprised at the relative objectivity of the reporting, given how it has been so shamelessly vilified by the English language media for the most part. Bears paying attention to, in any event.

I first saw this a couple of days ago, but in case you haven't yet, check out X-ray Bush, by Pau Genestra. Frivolous, but amusing.

If ever there was going to be a turning point in this war, this is probably it, from NYT: Muslim Cleric Urges Iraqis Not to Resist. I certainly hope they're reporting that on Al-Jazeera. Of course, that might be difficult, as Al-Jazeera has been kicked out of Baghdad.

The latest rumor on Baghdad blogger Salam Pax (from Aussie blogger John Quiggan via Jeff Jarvis):

A colleague has emailed me to say that, according to Al Jazeera, Salam Pax is wounded in hospital. He seems to be in the city of Najaf. The doctor said that he was on his computer when his house was hit by a bomb.

After getting way too much publicity for a gay architect in Baghdad, Salam hasn't blogged for a week and a half now. Of course, this is the Internet, after all, which means who knows whether this is reliable, or, for that matter, whether Salam even exists.

Here's a wacky Iraqi theory: Salam is actually the alterego of Saddam himself! Wouldn't that be twisted?

The mystery intensifies: NYT piece on how Washington is spreading the "Saddam is dead" rumor as best it can for psychological advantage. It's ratchetting up the the up the pressure on Saddam to clarify the matter conclusively once and for all, or it probably will begin to look like the guy is really gone, which could certainly destabalize Iraq, if the the idea gained widespread belief.

Personally, I think we got him. I called it just a few hours after it happened, before they even came forward and said who they were targeting. Were it true, this thing may yet end quickly all of the sudden.

Or what if this: he's never heard from again. He just vanishes, and we never know for sure whether we got him or he simply got away. What a mind fuck this guy is.

Slate reports:

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is an accomplished man. Not only is he guiding the war in Iraq, he has been a pilot, a congressman, an ambassador, a businessman, and a civil servant. But few Americans know that he is also a poet...

Glass Box
You know, it's the old glass box at the—
At the gas station,
Where you're using those little things
Trying to pick up the prize,
And you can't find it.
It's—

And it's all these arms are going down in there,
And so you keep dropping it
And picking it up again and moving it,
But—

Some of you are probably too young to remember those—
Those glass boxes,
But—

But they used to have them
At all the gas stations
When I was a kid.

—Dec. 6, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing

A brilliant thought from Anil Dash:

You know, if you had a band, and you were really determined to stay an underground band, instead of putting a vulgarity in your band name like in the olden days, you could just name your band "HTTP" so that nobody could search for it on Google. That would prove how underground you really are.

...the best rapper is a white,
the best golfer is black,
the tallest basketball player is Chinese,
and Germany doesn't want to go to war.

Apparently it's doing the rounds these day via email, though I heard it over dinner from Regina.

Unilateralist journalist friend in Iraq again checks in with Nick, this time to explain that the most highly valued commodity of this conflict is a satellite phone.

Nick Denton, ever the provocateur, has an interesting essay on a topic he's raised before: why not let Iraq break apart along ethnic lines?