Totally Wack Search Traffic

Man, I should really stop blogging about dirty things. Why do I come up #1 for this search on Google rather than the guy I was linking to when I was blogging about that? (Yes, I'm being deliberately cryptic, because I don't want to reinforce those phrases.)

Or, how about this search?? (An extremely popular search, as it turns out; one of my top traffic drivers lately, in fact. I'm #3 on Google for that, for God sake!) I never wrote about that, I swear! Lord knows I can't do it, and wouldn't even if I could.

Or this. Also on Google. (Okay, I see that one is because I'm a terrible speller.)

Or this.

Or this.

Or, simply and elegently, this.

Or, for whatever insane reason, this.

Or, remarkably, this (which isn't dirty at all, it's just strange I come up so high for a search of that).

The good news is that my traffic is up lately, but I just get the idea I'm not really connecting with my target audience.

UPDATE:

Also, this (I come up high on searches with "trivial," like this).

And this.

And this (this whole topic is generally big for my traffic lately)

And this (eat your heart out, Eurotrash)